In The Weeks to come

The Exam season came early this year. I’m having exams, so my ability to do anything else is currently limited, due to exams.


I only wish that the exams would end one day, and I could do something different than exams in my mythical exam-free time. However, for the time being, it’s almost exclusively exams. My life is exams. I’ve had exams before, but my Lord, I’ve never had exams like that. I didn’t even think that the exams I’m having are exams, that are possible to have. Not on this plane of existence. Perhaps in hell, whence the exams originally invaded?

If there is one dream I have, is that it would all end, and I could return to my job, my hobbies, or literally anything else in the world. As long as it’s not exams, it is preferred.

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5 things I find funnier than they are – a video guide to my sense of humor.

I am generally a funny person most of the time, but there are parts of my sense of humor that I don’t really share with my in-real-life friends. I usually can see why, as in, I understand what in particular I find funny about this and that, and why others might not find it nearly as hilarious as I do. And it’s not so much about the dark humor, the limits of what’s funny and what’s actually already inappropriate, but the source of the joke. I want to present you with a short guide to my sense of humor. Five things that, as far as I noticed, I find funnier than people around me. Now that doesn’t mean they’re not funny at all – quite often it’s the contrary. They might be hilarious, but they wouldn’t exactly be your go-to source of comedy.  And then there are things you might find yourself completely indifferent to, which is also cool. Anyway, let’s begin.


5. “I have no clue what’s going on”

Pretty straightforward. I’m sure everyone has been the dumbest person in the room at least once, and there were occasions when you couldn’t grasp the subject of the conversation, or perhaps got lost in the conversation itself.

But there are moments when the realization, that what is completely unknown, entirely incomprehensible to me, is well understood by others, makes me simply laugh like an idiot, that I surely am in this situation.

Take a look at this video:

Now, English isn’t my first language, but somehow I don’t think it’s the language barrier that makes this video just a white noise to me.

And it’s not that I find this man funny. I’m laughing at myself. My theories of what he’s trying to explain to me. My attempts at fitting the blanks, which greatly outnumber the parts I at least somewhat understood. But his confidence and conviction, that what he says is heard by people who will be impressed by whatever is that he is describing doesn’t help, you know? I have no idea what an encabulator is, I’m not sure if that’s what the machine’s name actually is. I only hope I’ll never have to know.

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Happy New Year!

You know, everyone’s complaining, but my 2017 was pretty damn good. So in celebration of its well-deserved retirement, I share with you my number one favorite partying song, wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Tell me this song isn’t awesome? You’re welcome! I mean, I don’t usually like this genre, but this makes me want to dance. I don’t know how dancing to that song would look like, but I would do it anyway.

We gon’ party all night loooooooong.

-Calmest Waters

Regarding me

One of my absolutely favorite cliches is the “we don’t love someone, but merely the idea we have of that person”. Honestly? I have no real life experience with this particular cliche in romantic relationships, but I know this can very easily be extrapolated to cover every kind of relationship between any two people, and I think I’m a pretty good example of that. What I want to say, is that while I haven’t lied to anyone here, while I have always been truthful, I haven’t said everything I could’ve or perhaps should’ve.


I don’t give too much information about myself. You might have an idea of where I live, at least occasionally. More careful readers, all two of you, might know just how old I am, or what I do for a living, or what sort of condition I have. But otherwise, apart from the obvious things I discuss in my posts, you don’t really know me as a person. My signature in all correspondence I’ve sent regarding this very blog says “Jake Waters”, but that’s not my real name either. And every post I write, I later edit before posting, making sure I didn’t give you too much info on myself to the point, where sometime later I don’t remember how much I’ve actually told you.

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Hiking to the rescue.

Here’s something that hits me hard year after year, around Christmas. Although I did talk about seasons sometime before, twice actually, if not more, I decided to mention one more thing and build my post on that foundation. Okay, so the end of the year is upon us. December obviously no longer feels like Autumn, but a proper Winter. With that in mind, there’s this, I don’t know, subconscious feeling that this is the moment the tide has to turn, weather-wise. As in, this sinusoidal graph of average temperatures in the northern hemisphere should be hitting its lowest point EXACTLY as the year ends, and immediately go up after January 1st. But that’s not happening… Winter begins only on December 23rd, January and February are when the cold actually attacks, and even though the days will technically start getting longer, we won’t really notice it until we turn our clocks to the Summertime. This depressing thought calls for one thing: a hiking trip.


a cs13

Not actually where I will be hiking, though.


Biking has always been superior to hiking in my book. You cover more ground in a shorter time while still being able to access pretty much all the same places. But Winter is not a right partner for a bike. It’s doable, but it’s basically an exercise, and biking should never be about working out, that’s not the point of it, and don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise. Plus, my bike is secured in an undisclosed location at the moment, so hiking it is.

I go for a walk almost every day. And I don’t mean a short stroll to the grocery store, but like a proper walk, two hours, three, you get the idea. But the parks, well, you know how I feel about parks. They’re like less ambitious, less talented little brothers of the forests. They’ll do in a crisis situation, but they can only do so much for me still. But this time, I have something much better in mind. Something I have actually been thinking about for months, but weren’t as desperate to go for it until now.

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The Green

I’ve established some time ago that when it comes to enjoying the world outside, under regular circumstances, Summer trumps Winters, and my Summer Home in the countryside trumps my home-for-the-rest-of-the-year in the city. This should be self-explanatory. But there is a catch, you see.


I live in Poland, which is, you know it’s there. The climate here isn’t as harsh as the stereotypes explain I’ve come to notice, but it isn’t Hawaii either. It gets warmer around late March, proper Summer factually starts around mid-June, and the Autumn begins with October. The Winters are the worst and the most unpredictable. Sometimes, we don’t see snow until January, which is great, and even then only traces amounts of it, which is ecstatic, but sometimes blizzards hit us in November.

But I have my own way of categorizing whether it’s the Summer-part of the year or the Winter-part of the year. I’m not sure if I mentioned it anywhere before.

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Song: Searching for harmony

A new track on my Soundcloud profile that fits into the greater theme of this blog, which is searching for harmony, that out of… I don’t know, vanity I suppose, I named it just that, “Searching for harmony”.

A track as simple sounding as it is difficult to arrange in a way that would capture the essence of what I wanted it to be. Sounds aligning to the main theme, which guides, if not carries the rest of the instruments. A music where each note is a natural consequence of the note before it, much like every good day is a result of a well-spent yesterday. You might say this is just what all music is, an arrangement of notes, but in this case, I wanted the main theme to absolutely dominate the song and have everything else that contributes to the track move from the chaos that it is in the beginning, to the perfect composition, perfect harmony that the main theme imposed.

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Calmest Waters Revival

It’s time, I’m longing for home again,
And I fly, from the eye of the storm I come,
I see that shine whereever I roam the land,
I’m Alive,
Alive I’m riding back to the sun,

Chris Bay

That’s right.

My heart’s at peace and my soul won’t falter, my friends, as everything returns back to the way it should. I have once again emerged victorious from all the commotion that keeps, and as it seems will forever keep returning every now and then, and even though it tries harder and harder every time to disturb me, my tolerance rises in time and so does my determination. 


That being said, I do owe you an explanation. Especially since most likely sudden departures will be occurring rather frequently, certainly more frequently than I would wish them to.

The thing is, I have two separate chronic illnesses. I’ve been diagnosed with hypothyroidism over six years ago, and with multiple sclerosis four years ago. A lot of my depression comes from the fact that I neglected my health for far too long, and a lot of my recovery is me being taken care of better than I deserved. Anyway, although I am nearly 100% functional most of the time, there are days, and, recently, weeks, where I’m struggling more than I would prefer to let people around me know. Weeks when I truly can’t spend any resources on writing posts or making music simply because I wouldn’t do it right anyway. A decision I made when I was starting this blog was to do it right. What does that mean in this context? Well, essentially, don’t force yourself to do anything. Otherwise, this blog, which I truly consider a success, or a tool as useful as I hoped it to be, will fail, like so many projects I started before, and which are now forgotten because of my wrong choices and attitude.

I only recently realized that hell, I can tell you all of this, because I’m still anonymous to the internet, at least while using a disguise of Calmest Waters. You can still judge me, but your judgment is irrelevant. A perfect relationship.

Alright. We’ve wasted a lot of time, everyone. While I did neglect to post anything on the blog these last couple of weeks, I do have a lot coming, for you, and for me. We’re talking songs, we’re talking thoughts&discussion opportunities, we’re talking writing of any and all sizes and shapes. So, let’s get to it. Better late than ever.

Thank you for the all the kind words and support, truly. I can’t promise to be a better blogger, but I do promise to be a better friend to you from now on.

-Calmest Waters

P.S. I couldn’t help but notice that “likes-wise”, the post about me taking a break from running this blog was one of the most successful posts on this blog. I’m not sure how to think about this, so I won’t. But I’ll be watching you all.

P.P.S. That is INDEED a Creedence Clearwater Revival reference in the title, good for you to notice!

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Yellow Wander.

I’ve been very vocal about the inferiority of the wheat fields to the corn fields, but let me tell you, however wonderful the October might be, eventually, and usually, sooner than you expected, you start missing every single Summer-exclusive thing, including the once dreaded wheat fields. Fortunately, being the genius I am, I predicted that my heart will long for the sight of the golden sea, and prepared myself for that eventuality properly. Photos are taken, memories cataloged and stored safely, and at last, music recorded and posted on Soundcloud.

Looking back, I think I might have been a little too harsh on the wheat, barley and whatever else looks like these two. I mean sure, cornfields will always be cornfields, but when I think “Summer”, I think green, light blue and yellow. Green for the leaves on the trees, which in my mind are the one thing that determines in which of the two recognizable seasons: Winter-ish or Summer-ish, we are right now. Light blue for the sky dozed with a tiny amount of white, fluffy clouds. And yellow, for the golden fields bathed in the bright sun.

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