It’s time, I’m longing for home again,
And I fly, from the eye of the storm I come,
I see that shine whereever I roam the land,
Alive I’m riding back to the sun,
– Chris Bay
My heart’s at peace and my soul won’t falter, my friends, as everything returns back to the way it should. I have once again emerged victorious from all the commotion that keeps, and as it seems will forever keep returning every now and then, and even though it tries harder and harder every time to disturb me, my tolerance rises in time and so does my determination.
That being said, I do owe you an explanation. Especially since most likely sudden departures will be occurring rather frequently, certainly more frequently than I would wish them to.
The thing is, I have two separate chronic illnesses. I’ve been diagnosed with hypothyroidism over six years ago, and with multiple sclerosis four years ago. A lot of my depression comes from the fact that I neglected my health for far too long, and a lot of my recovery is me being taken care of better than I deserved. Anyway, although I am nearly 100% functional most of the time, there are days, and, recently, weeks, where I’m struggling more than I would prefer to let people around me know. Weeks when I truly can’t spend any resources on writing posts or making music simply because I wouldn’t do it right anyway. A decision I made when I was starting this blog was to do it right. What does that mean in this context? Well, essentially, don’t force yourself to do anything. Otherwise, this blog, which I truly consider a success, or a tool as useful as I hoped it to be, will fail, like so many projects I started before, and which are now forgotten because of my wrong choices and attitude.
I only recently realized that hell, I can tell you all of this, because I’m still anonymous to the internet, at least while using a disguise of Calmest Waters. You can still judge me, but your judgment is irrelevant. A perfect relationship.
Alright. We’ve wasted a lot of time, everyone. While I did neglect to post anything on the blog these last couple of weeks, I do have a lot coming, for you, and for me. We’re talking songs, we’re talking thoughts&discussion opportunities, we’re talking writing of any and all sizes and shapes. So, let’s get to it. Better late than ever.
Thank you for the all the kind words and support, truly. I can’t promise to be a better blogger, but I do promise to be a better friend to you from now on.
P.S. I couldn’t help but notice that “likes-wise”, the post about me taking a break from running this blog was one of the most successful posts on this blog. I’m not sure how to think about this, so I won’t. But I’ll be watching you all.
P.P.S. That is INDEED a Creedence Clearwater Revival reference in the title, good for you to notice!